The Messer Flack Family Cross Country Road Trip
by Michaela Martin
Summary: Take my AU world of Moments Like These and Yahtzee, add Flack and Stella's family from MLT, stick them all in two SUVs for the summer and you have Taylor's summer nightmare! Enjoy!
1. Road Trip

**A/N: I know it's been awhile but here is something new I have been working on. I really liked the idea I had about merging my two Messer families into one. (MTL-Taylor and the Yahtzee kids) In continuation with that idea here is a new chapter to When Taylor Met Yahtzee. Told in Taylor's POV, with the end tag reading like a blog. Enjoy! **

**For the record I have temporarily ceased work on Uptown Girl. I can't seem to get out of a corner I put myself in during the last chapter. Hopefully with the upcoming episodes I should be able to get some new ideas on where I can go with it. Until then here is my new chapter!**

Road Trip or How Taylor Lindsay Messer Survived 27 Days in an SUV with Her Five Brothers and Sisters or Why Danny and Lindsay are Never Taking a Road Trip with Six Kids, Two Stowaway Pets and Their Best Friends' Stella and Don Flack and Family Ever, Ever Again (Part One)

"We're going where?" I asked my mother.

"Your father, Flack and Stella have never left the city of New York," Lindsay Messer explained. "They decided that they want to take a family road trip."

I quickly did the math. _All right in the Messer clan alone there's Mom and Dad, me, DJ, Bella, Evan, PJ and Miracle. So that's eight plus four. 12! 12 people on a road trip. This is going to a trip worth blogging about._ "So where exactly are we going?"

"Well your brothers, father and the Flack boys want to go to a Cubbies game in Chicago," Mom explained. "Both Eric and Hunter want to go to Cedar Point. I, course want to go see my family for a few days."

"Do I get any say in where we're going?" I asked. "I would really love to go to Washington. I know you and Aunt Stella would love to see the Hope Diamond up close."

"Everyone is coming over tonight to plan a route," Mom said. "Everyone can put in their suggestions. We'll draw 12 different locations and plan the trip around them."

"How diplomatic of us," I quipped.

Later that evening the Messer family brownstone was packed with the Flack and Messer family members. At the beginning of the evening Mom and Aunt Stella handed out strips of paper for everyone to write down the destination of choice. A large map of the US and Canada was tacked to the wall. Dad and Uncle Flack stood in the middle of the two families.

"I now call to order to the Destination Lottery for the first-"

"And possibly last," I quipped quietly to Eric.

"I heard that Taye," Dad teased. "For the first annual Messer-Flack Family Road Trip. Once everyone has completed their Destination Lottery tickets please hand them to Flack to be mixed in the sacred Mets cap."

It took about twenty minutes for everyone to get their tickets to Flack. "All right gang. Submission time is now over. Danny and I will read the 12 selected destinations and our lovely and brilliant assistants will mark each on the map," Don said. "And our first location is...Washington, DC!"

Lindsay marked the map with a red stick pin. Danny reached into the hat and pulled out another ticket. "Bozeman, Montana!" Stella marked it on the map. By the end of the drawing the Messers and the Flacks were going to DC, Bozeman, Chicago, Orlando, Prince Edward Island, San Deigo, New Orleans, Charleston, Seattle, Yellowstone, Daytona Beach and Niagra Falls.

"Mom are you sure you're going to have enough time off for this trip?" Hunter asked.

"Buddy between the four of us we have almost three years worth of vacation time saved up," Flack said. "Now you guys go outside so we can plan our route since we're going from one side of the country to the other."

My brothers and sisters and the Flack boys headed out to the backyard. Eric grabbed a red kickball on the way out. He and Hunter challenged DJ, Evan and PJ to a two on three game of kickball. Bella, Miracle and I watched from the gazebo in the garden. Inside the parentals discussed the route.

"I saw we go down the eastern seaboard to DC, Charleston, Daytona and Orlando," Lindsay said, taking a dry erase marker to the laminated map. "From Orlando we go to New Olreans, then to San Deigo. Then head north to Seattle, then east to Bozeman and Yellowstone, then to Chicago then to Niagra. We'll finish the trip in Prince Edward Island and then head home."

"Maybe we should have just stuck to east coast locations," Flack breathed as he looked at the map. "How are we going to seat everyone?"

"Mac said we could borrow two of the big SUVs from the department," Stella said. "Each can hold up to eight people."

"I know Taylor. Three days in the car with her brothers and sisters she'll find the first bus home," Danny said. "Everytime we stop somewhere, everyone has the chance to swap cars."

"I am so glad we decided to do this now that Yahtzee is older," Dad said. "Can you imagine attempting this with five four year olds and car seats?"

"We still have one car seat," Mom said. "Miracle still needs her seat. But the rest of them are good to go."

"So how about for the first leg we have Me and Don, with DJ, Evan, PJ, Eric and Hunter and you girls can take Bella, Taye and Miracle?" Uncle Don suggested.

"If you want boys in one car and the girls in the other why do you get PJ?" Mom asked.

"Because do you really want to listen to Bella and PJ argue for several hundred miles?" Danny asked. "You know those two. Their worse than all of them together."

"For the record when this blows up and ends up being the worst idea we have ever had," Mom started to say. "I get to be the first one to laugh and cry."

"Deal," Dad agreed.

Thus began the longest vacation of my life. And I do me the longest. We planned to leave the following week. I had never seen my mother so stressed out in her entire life. Then again she was pretty stressed when Miracle wandered away while we were at Wal-Mart. Seven suitcases were strewn across my parents' bed. Mom figured I was old enough to know what to pack and how much to bring.

"So why isn't Dad packing his own suitcase?" I teased.

"Because your father has the attention span of a seven year old. That why he and Yahtzee get along so well. Just do me a favor and have your suitcase packed and by the backdoor in three hours," Lindsay sighed. "Oh and bring up the laundry basket from the basement."

Thus began the longest summer vacation of my entire life. Dad declared at the last family meeting before we left that he wanted to be out of the city and on the freeway to DC by eight in the morning. I politely and slightly sarcastically pointed out that there is no possible way to get out of Manhattan and the greater New York City area by eight am. Mom and Aunt Stella had to turn away to keep from laughing at my comment and the red faced Danny. I continued my logical explaintion on why it impossible to get out of NEw York by eight am.

"The only way we can possibly make it is if we leave at three am. Which all of you cops know is the worst possible time to be out on the streets. All of the clubs and bars are emptying and the streets are filled with the drunk and disorderlies. _Do_ you really want to deal with all of them, plus listen to Yahtzee, Eric, Hunter, me, Mom, Aunt Stella and Uncle Don whine about being up at such an ungodly hour?"

"Keep going Taylor and I will leave you with Nonna for the duration of this vacation," my father threatened.

"You need me on this trip," I countered. "There has to be at least one reliable witness when Mom and Aunt Stella kill you and Uncle Don for getting us lost in the desert of Texas."

"Taylor's got you there Danny," Aunt Stella laughed. "As it stands she is the only sane one in this crazy gaggle."

Despite my teasing, we and I do mean all 12 of us were out of the city by 8:03am. ANd we didn't have to leave at three either. We left at 4:45. Do Dad's credit we would have made it out by eight, but Mom's toll pass was low on funds and she, Aunt Stella and I had to dig for 75 cents.

It was quite a challenge splitting everyone up. No matter how we split one car was always going to have less people in it. Mom and Aunt Stella refused to ride with either of their husbands so that put Dad and Uncle Don in one SUV and Mom and Aunt Stella in the other. DJ and Evan wanted to ride with Dad, while Bella wanted to ride in whatever car I was in. PJ wanted to be with the boys and Miracle was sound asleep. Dad decided to take the boys and PJ with him. Eric and Hunter claimed the back seat of Dad's SUV for themselves and were not about to take a third person. That actually worked out perfectly for me because I go the back seat of Mom's SUV all to myself.

By lunchtime we had just made it to the outskirts of Philly. Dad in the lead car radioed back to Aunt Stella to take lunch location requests. Bella and I chose Arby's. Miracle was not in a responsive mode and was just staring out the window. We found an exit that had Arby's for me and Bella, McDonalds for DJ, Evan, PJ and Hunter, and a Taco Bell for Eric and the parents. The parentals gave each of the older kids (me and Hunter) money for lunch.

It was when we stopped that I was finally caught. In my very large purse, I had smuggled my Yorkie, Pig-Pen on the trip. Pig-Pen had finally yipped loud enough over Mom and Aunt Stella talking and the radio. Mom looked back from the passenger seat and caught me shushing my purse.

"Taye, does Pig-Pen need to make a potty stop?" my mother asked.

_Damnit!_ "She's good for a couple more hours," I said sheepishly.

Mom picked up the radio and called over to Dad. "Messer One to Messer Two. We have a stowaway."

"Pig-Pen?" my father responded.

"That would be an affirmative," Mom replied.

"We also have a stowaway," Dad said. "I'm not sure how but DJ brought Buster."

Buster was my brothers' rat. He and Evan shared the responsibility of taking care of him.

"Do we have a cage for Buster?" Mom asked.

"That would be a negetive. Request permission to stop at next Wal-Mart for a small rat cage?" Dad asked.

"Permission granted," Mom sighed. "Taylor tell me you have all of Pig-Pen's toys, treats and kennel in your stuff."

"Yes Mom," I replied. "I actually thought my stowaway all the way through."

"I thought you were going to have Katie take Pig-Pen while we were gone?"

"She backed out last night. I was went over to drop her off and her mom didn't want her in the apartment, even though she already agreed that Katie could take care of her."

"You're paying for whatever pet fees we have at the hotels," Mom said sternly. "Next time just ask Taylor. I expected this from the boys but not from you."

_Well frack._ I thought to myself. _We're not even to lunch on the first day and I'm already on Mom's shit list. Oh well, it won't last that long._

Boy was I wrong. Not only did I make Mom's shit list, I made Dad's as well. At our lunch stop, Dad pulled me aside from the others. I could tell he was really angry.

"I can't believe you would do this Taylor," Dad said, trying to keep his cool. "All you had to do was tell us that Katie backed out and we would have gladly accepted bringing Pig-Pen along for the trip. I think your mother and I disappointed in you is punishment enough. Don't do it again."

"Yes Daddy."

Along with lunch we were also able to locate a rat cage for Buster. It took a little prodding on Dad's part to discover whose idea it was to bring Buster along. DJ's punishment was he was going to have to ride with Mom for the rest of the trip to Daytona Beach. As to not punish the rest of us, we swapped Bella for DJ. No way I was going to broker fights between DJ and Bella for the remainder of the trip. Mom also pointed out to Dad that both culprits of pet smuggling were in the same car.

By that evening we were pulling into the parking lot of our first hotel, just on the outskirts of Baltimore. It took three rooms to split us all up. Bella, Pig-Pen, Miracle, PJ and I were in one room. Evan, Eric, Hunter and DJ next to us, with adjoining doors. The parentals shared a king size suite.

Mom put Eric in charge of the boy's room and me in charge of the girls'. Hunter was the big hero of DJ and Evan because he smuggled his GameCube and Super Smash Brothers. Us girls didn't have to worry about the boys all night. As for Bella, PJ, Miracle and I we enjoyed a quiet evening watching re-runs of Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place. Well, Bella was watching, Miracle was asleep in her bed and PJ and I were trying to play cards but Pig-Pen kept walking through the game. I felt bad, having to put her in her kennel but it was needed in order to play our game.

Mom wanted all the younger kids in bed by nine. She didn't care how late me, Eric and Hunter stayed up, just as long as we were up and had the kids dressed and ready for breakfast. Once my brothers and sisters were out cold, Eric, Hunter and I played poker.

"So how bad is it in your car?" I asked, dealing out the cards.

"Not so bad now that DJ was voted out. Bella, however, is no picnic. I love that we have the in car DVD system, but if I have to watch one more Barbie movie I am going to walk home," Hunter teased.

"Did I not tell you to take all the music off your Ipod and put as many movies as you could instead?" Eric told his brother. "If you had done that you wouldn't have to watch _Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses_."

"Or you both could have been smart and taken your laptops to Adam for an uber battery upgrade," I had to add.

"It's a little hard to get Adam to do favors for us since we're not exactly his favorite people," Eric said.

"I told you not to do that," I reprimanded.

Long story short, Adam had got them first for Halloween last year. So to get Adam back they ditched school and filled Adam's car with thousands of Skittles. Adam was not very pleased and took his complaint to Uncle Don. He made the boys clean and detail Adam's car by hand. Even after the amazing job they did on the car, Adam was still not happy. Thus the reason why he refuses, to a point, to offer favors to the Flack boys.

After I managed to take the boys for a good deal of their spending money, I bid them goodnight. I took my shower and climbed into the bed I was sharing with PJ. I felt bad and let Pig-Pen out of her kennel and she slept up on the bed between PJ and I.

_And the suckiest part about this whole thing, we haven't even made it to our first destination yet. Keep with me, readers. The first and most likely last Messer-Flack Family Cross-Country Road Trip Will continue with our two days in Washington DC. With luck, planning and a heap of begging on my part, I may talk Mom into letting Eric, Hunter and I take our own tour of the capital. I can only hope. If I survive, this is going to make the best "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" paper ever!_

_Taylor Lindsay Messer_


	2. Washington DC and Charleston

**A/N: Thank you to all who read part one of this story. Part two will contain the stops in DC and Charleston. Watch for hilarity, one lost DJ and your worst family vacation come to life. Ok maybe not the worst. Possibly just the funniest! Happy Reading!**

Road Trip or How Taylor Lindsay Messer Survived 27 Days in an SUV with Her Five Brothers and Sisters or Why Danny and Lindsay are Never Taking a Road Trip with Six Kids, Two Stowaway Pets and Their Best Friends' Stella and Don Flack and Family Ever, Ever Again (Part Two)

The next morning did not get any better. First I missed my alarm and wasn't up when I wanted to be. Second, Bella didn't want to wear what Mom had picked out the night before. I had to go down to the car and dig out something else. I was then going to stick both Bella and PJ in the shower but they didn't want to take a shower. They wanted a bubble bath. I had to play the big sister card and tell them that they could take a bath tonight. The only child/pet that wasn't giving me a hard time was Miracle. She happily played with Pig-Pen while I argued with Bella about her clothes. For an eight year old she sure was picky about everything matching.

I was finally able to herd us out of the room and down to the lobby/kitchen for breakfast. I helped Bella and PJ get their cereal and fruit while Miracle went to Aunt Stella. I sat with Eric and Hunter.

"Be thankful that you don't have younger siblings," I sighed.

"Well, technically-" Eric started.

"Finish that sentence and your GameCube disappears," I said, pointing my unintimidating spork at him.

"And listen to DJ and Evan complain that they don't get to play anymore?" Hunter teased. "You're not that cruel."

I smiled and went back to my cold pancakes and warm Froot Loops. After breakfast Dad sent us up to clean out our stuff so we could be back on the road in twenty minutes. Not trusting my sisters, I did the once over of the room. I cleaned up Pig-Pen's breakfast and put everything back in her kennel and put Pig-Pen herself in my large purse. We girls were the first ones back to the car. Poor DJ tried to get back in the SUV with Dad and Uncle Don and was sullenly lead back to our truck. I took pity on the little guy and let him sit in the backseat with me.

It was a short trip to the Metro Station. Once in the parking lot of the station, DJ, Evan, Bella and PJ were locked into their connecting leash and that was hooked to the stroller that Miracle was in.

"Taylor, Eric and Hunter," Dad called to us. "I am trusting you three to take care of yourselves in DC. You cna go to any of the museums and buildings you want as long as you check in with us every two hours. We will meet back at the Metro Center Station at five. You are granted a ten minute window. Have fun, be safe and stay together."

He then handed each of us a day pass for the train and the bus. The three of us smiled happily and took off for the train. Since DC was my top choice for stops I already had my locations picked out. Poor Eric and Hunter were just along for the ride. They were looking forward to the Cubbie game a few weeks away.

I drug them to the Natural History Museum, just so I could see the Hope Diamond up close. It was so pretty. I indulged them and went through the dino wing, where we actually ran into our families. From there we went through the Air and Space Museum. After we finished with the Smithsonian museums we wanted to see, we walked to the Capitol and got our picture taken in front of the fountain. Then we started the 2.2 mile hike from the Capitol building to the Washington Momument, the World War Two Memorial and the Lincoln Memorial. If I know my brothers, they would be begging Mom and Dad to let them sit on Lincoln's lap.

By the end of our day we had seen almost everything you can possibly see in the DC area. We were even cornered by both the Obama and McCain camps. Since I was the only one of us even eligible to vote I listened to both sides politely and told both camps that I hadn't made up my mind yet. We got back to the Metro Center Station Eric, Hunter and I were dead tired. Even Pig-Pen, who got to be carried not only in my bag, but by the boys as well was pooped.

On the train back to our park and ride location we were told in four different voices, overlapping, about my brothers and sisters day in our nation's capitol. From what I could decode from them, DJ's favorite place was the Air and Space Museum. Bella liked looking at all the pretty jewlery. Evan liked the dinos and PJ liked everything. Miracle just kept saying fish over and over. Mom explained that she, Aunt Stella and Miracle had spent a great deal of time at the zoo.

We ate a nice place in Richmond, where we stopped for the night. I was so tired when we got back to the hotel I could barely take Pig-Pen out for her potty break. Bella and PJ were kind enough to remind me that I promised that they could take a bath tonight. Which I let them do. I could hear the boys next door playing their video games. I got the girls dried off and into bed. I was out and didn't wake up until my alarm on my phone sounded, the next morning.

The morning process went much faster the next morning. Bella had no issues with what she was wearing. We had the same breakfast and then went back up to collect the rest of our stuff. From there we hit the car and I think I slept most of the way to South Carolina. We got to our hotel in Charleston just in time for dinner. The next day we went to Patriot's Point. Patriot's Point was Hunter's pick. It was a museum built into a decommissioned Aircraft carrier. There was also a destroyer and sub. There was so much to see that we got to split into groups of four. DJ, Evan, Eric and Dad were in one group. Mom, Bella, Miracle and I were in another and Aunt Stella, Uncle Don, PJ and Hunter made up the last.

Mom, the girls and I went through the Medal of Honor Museum first. Every single person who had ever recieved a Congressional Medal of Honor had their name listed. The very first award was given by President Lincoln to a 12 year-old drummer boy in the Civil War. It was very humbling and awesome to see.

We didn't find out until much later that night that Dad and Eric had accidently left little DJ up on the flight deck of the USS Yorktown. He had been looking at the fighters and didn't notice that Dad, Eric and Evan had left. Dad didn't notice until he got halfway through the rest of the tour that he was missing someone. While on the flight deck DJ made a new friend. An older gentleman had been watching the little boy look at all the different planes on the deck. He went up to DJ and the two began talking.

The man had been a fighter pilot in World War Two, the Korean War and the Vietnam War. He told DJ all about the different planes he saw while in the navy. After the man told him about the F-14 Tomcat, that's when DJ noticed that he had been left behind. His lower lip quivered in the way it does when he's about to really cry. The gentleman took his hand and offered to hel DJ find Dad. He led DJ back down the ladders in the Yorktown. They walked right into Dad who was in a panic.

"Not to worry sir," the gentleman said. "DJ here and I got to be good friends."

"Yeah Daddy," DJ agreed. "Mr. McCalwey told me all about him and his buddy Danny. They shot down dozens of Japanese planes during Pearl Harbor."

Danny thanked him profusely for taking care of his son. They walked back to where they had left Eric and Evan. DJ was still sputtering on and on about the man he had talked to. Something tells me that we will be listening to DJ embellish his getting lost story all the way to Daytona.

_There you have it folks. Our DC and Charleston adventure. The girls are fast asleep in their bed. I convinced them that they would sleep better if they were all together in one bed. I'm such a horrible older sister aren't I? Well our next stop is Daytona Beach. Dad's plan is to leave us girls on the beach while he and the boys go over to the speedway. I'll be damned if I get left behind on that one. _

_Eric just knocked on the door. He and Hunter are going to jump the fence to the hotel pool. I have to play lookout so they don't get busted by management or the parentals. Later!_

_Weary Traveler, Taylor Lindsay Messer_


	3. Daytona and Disney

**A/N: Welcome to Daytona and Disney World. For all interested I have acutally been to Patriot's Point in Charleston. It was the coolest experience I have ever had. The Medal of Honor Museum is really a cool place to visit. In case you didn't get it, the old man DJ was talking to was supposed to be Ben Affleck's character in Pearl Harbor. Happy reading!**

Road Trip or How Taylor Lindsay Messer Survived 27 Days in an SUV with Her Five Brothers and Sisters or Why Danny and Lindsay are Never Taking a Road Trip with Six Kids, Two Stowaway Pets and Their Best Friends' Stella and Don Flack and Family Ever, Ever Again (Part Three)

I guess Mom, Dad, Aunt Stella and Uncle Don forgot to check Florida weather before we left Charleston. By the time we got to Daytona, it was windy, raining and from what the radio was saying it was not about to lighten up anytime soon. That left five eight-year-olds, two sixteen-year-olds, one eighteen-year-old, four parents, who if I said their ages would kill me, a rat and a Yorkshire terrier cooped up in three hotel rooms on the beach. The most taunting thing was that all our rooms faced the water. I swear I love my family, but if I have to endure this much longer, someone is going in their suitcase and never coming out.

Luckily, the next morning was bright and sunny. There was no stopping our clan from hitting the cool crystal waters of Daytona Beach. Hunter and Eric rented four-wheelers and took turns taking DJ, Evan and PJ zooming through the surf. Mom and Aunt Stella walked in the water with Miracle between them. The water seemed to be calming for her. Dad and Uncle Don discussed getting surfboards. Bella and I watched from our giant blanket and umbrella as the rest of our family played in the water.

"Bella, do you want to walk down the beach with me?" I asked my little sister. "I'll buy you a Sno-Cone."

"No thank you," Bella said. "I just want to read my book."

That's my sister for you. I put Pig-Pen on her leash and walked with her down to the water. She took one sniff of the salt water and backed away, barking at it. Either that or her own reflection scared her again.

"Weirdo," I muttered at the dog. Along the beach there were hundreds of people enjoying the beach. There were kids on bikes, four-wheelers, just people everywhere. The closest thing to a beach that we have in New York is Rockaway and my family doesn't really care for Rockaway. Something about a shark.

By early afternoon, the little ones were dead tired from swimming and playing on the beach. They went back to the hotel and slept while Dad, Uncle Don, Eric, Hunter and I went to the speedway. The Daytona International Speedway is HUGE! We took a tour of the track and I could barely walk up the side. Not that I am a big fan of racing it's national landmark.

Since the kids had taken a nap, Dad decided that we would drive into Orlando that night and get an early start on DisneyWorld. Once again Eric, Hunter and I were given the option to go off on our own. That made the little kids mad. They wanted to spend our three days at Disney together. So we made a compromise. We agreed that we would spend our first day doing the "big kid" rides and then we would spend the rest of the time with the family. That seemed to tolerate the little ones. Eric, Hunter and I bounced around from park to park, only doing what we would consider the "big kid" rides. That also included a stop in Downtown Disney. I swear we spent at least three hours in the Virgin Moblie Megastore. They had any CD/movie you could think of, including video games. It took all the strength I had to keep the boys from blowing the rest of their vacation spending money on a Playstation 3. I reminded them that they could go to any corner in the city and buy one for a third of the market value. They retorted that the systems you buy off the street are probably stolen and there was no way on God's green earth that they were going to get caught by two cop parents with lifted merch. I had to surrender my argument. I hate losing to those two.

After our day of park hopping, we all settled in for the night. Unlike the other night when I convinced my sisters to all share a bed, it wasn't flying. Somewhere in their day Bella and PJ got into it and refused to be next to each other for anything. I ended up sharing my bed with the place kicker for the Giants. I was half tempted to toss her nabby little butt on the floor so I could get some sleep. Somehow the kind, not sleep deprived, big sister mode kicked in and I called down to the lobby for some extra pillows so I could box her in.

The next morning all 12 of us were waiting in line to get into the Magic Kingdom. Looking around I thanked the dear Lord that all my siblings were out of strollers. Why people bring a baby to Disney World is beyond me. The kid isn't even going to remember any of it. Mom and Aunt Stella made a command decsion that all 12 of us were going to enjoy the day together as a family. There would be no wandering off (Mom pointed to Eric, Hunter and I), no complaining of the rides (Aunt Stella eyed Dad and Uncle Don on that one) and we would try to do everything that everyone wanted to do.

We walked down Main Street, USA and took a path that led us to Adventureland. From there we just followed the signs to the Jungle Cruise. Because Miracle is austic and we made arrangements ahead of time, we were escorted through the handicapped area and all placed on our own boat. Mom of course made me, Dad, Uncle Don, Hunter and Eric sit in the back so our smart mouths didn't ruin the younger kids' fun. We are well known for doing that. In fact I think I am still under grounding for telling Bella that if she wasn't good the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz would come take her away.

DJ and Evan loved Pirates. Bella not so much. She was waiting to get her picture taken in her brand new Cinderella dress in front of the castle. Fantasyland was all hers. We took the Magic Kingdom in a circle. Mom and Miracle sat out on Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad while we were in Frontierland. Bella added to their group when we hit Liberty Square for the Haunted Mansion.

Finally Bella was happy and the rest of us just wanted to gouge our eyes out with a spoon and shove spikes in our ears. That was only on "It's A Small World". Mom threatened to send the five Troublemakers (Me, Dad, Uncle Don, Eric and Hunter) home if we even started to hum the wonderfully annoying song later.

It took some time to get through all the rides but we survived to make it to Tomorrowland. Eric, Hunter and I had done Space Mountain yesterday so we agreed to sit outside with Miracle while Mom got to go. While they were in line we took Miracle on the Tomorrowland Transit Authority (a glorfied train that takes you around Tomorrowland). We were able to then call ahead to Dad and tell him that we were going to take Mira back to the carousel and meet them at the Buzz Lightyear ride.

DJ and Evan stole Eric and Hunter for the Buzz Lightyear ride. They had heard about it from other kids who had gone and learned that two people were needed. One to turn the car to get to the targets and someone else to shoot them. DJ and Evan were going to be the shooters and Eric and Hunter had to drive. PJ rode with Aunt Stella and Bella was with me. Dad and Uncle Don were together.

By the end of the day everyone was pooped. DJ and Evan fell asleep just after the fireworks on Eric and Hunter's backs. Miracle was in her backpack, asleep on Dad. PJ hopped a ride on my back and Bella in her Cinderella dress on Uncle Don's. Mom took a picture. I have to remember to post it on my blog when we get back to the hotel. Mom helped me get the girls to bed and I crashed soon after.

The next day was our last in Disney. The rest of the family had done Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios while Eric, Hunter and I had our "big kid" day. So the 12 of us took over Epcot. The first thing we did was go into Spaceship Earth (the golf ball looking thing in the middle of Epcot). From there we hit the Living Seas, which has now been taken over by Nemo and his little fish friends. Miracle was in heaven. She has a thing for fish. Somehow they calm her, we don't know why, they just do. The other four got quite bored at looking at the fish that Dad ushered them out. Mom and Aunt Stella stayed with Miracle, who if we let her would stare at the fish, dolphins, sharks and everything else in there all day long.

We skipped the Wonders of Life area because, having scientists for parents we already know what our insides look like. I remember this one time when I was just about Yahtzee's age Dad and Dr. Hammerback brought a real brain to my class as part of my science project. It grossed a lot of people out but it was awesome.

By the time we got to The World Showcase, Mom and Aunt Stella had managed to get Miracle out of the Living Seas and met up with us for lunch/early dinner. We stayed long enough to see the laserlight firework show.

_I swear, I will never for the rest of my life, understand why people bring such little kids to these parks. They're not going to remember it years from now. Besides strollers are a pain to get stuck behind. Our next stop is Aunt Stella's pick: New Orleans. Something tells me we're going to be doing a rebuilding project of some kind. Maybe while we're there I can talk Mom into taking me over to Tulane to take a tour. Yes cyberspace I still haven't picked a college. I don't know where I want to go. I got enough scholarships to go anywhere I want I just don't know which one I am going to pick. _

_Well it's late, I'm exhausted and in need of a vacation from my vacation. Until our next stop!_

_Taylor Lindsay Messer_

_PS: Maybe while I'm in New Orleans, I'll run away with a sexy vampire!_


	4. All in a Day's Work in New Orleans

**A/N: A rebuilding project, ghosts and the sexy maybe vampire to tempt Taylor. This trip is getting stranger by the minute. Thank you to my #1 fan of this story ImaSupernaturalCSI for reading this story and reviewing! Love you!**

Road Trip or How Taylor Lindsay Messer Survived 27 Days in an SUV with Her Five Brothers and Sisters or Why Danny and Lindsay are Never Taking a Road Trip with Six Kids, Two Stowaway Pets and Their Best Friends' Stella and Don Flack and Family Ever, Ever Again (Part Four)

I was right. One of Aunt Stella's foster sisters run an organization that is working to rebuild homes in the greater New Orleans area. Bella and Miracle were the only ones to get out of coming along to help. Bella mainly because she threw such a stink about getting dirty that Mom let her stay with Deanna's oldest daugher Vianne and Miracle. The rest of us were loaded up on a van and driven out to a home site. What we saw was nothing what I was expecting it was worse. The family that we were helping had been living in this flood damaged home since Hurricane Katrina two years ago.

Deanna's group had been slowly rebuilding. The family helped when they could but it was still a slow process. But with the ten of us there to help she was optimistic that they would get a lot done in a short amount of time. We left the small jobs like sweeping and painting to DJ, Evan and PJ. Dad Eric, Hunter and Uncle Don were on the roof hammering and drilling. Mom, Aunt Stella, Deanna and I were helping Mrs. Lacroix (the owner of the home) replant her roses. She was telling us, in her think Creole accent, that before the storm she had the most beautiful rose garden on the street.

She had a small dog that reminded me so much of Pig-Pen I couldn't keep from thinking that she really was my baby. Mrs. Lacroix was lucky she was even able to take her sweet baby Colette with her when she was evacuated. I couldn't imagine not being able to bring Pig-Pen to safety.

Even though she didn't have much to share, Mrs. Lacroix made us lunch. Deanna had made us lunches but Mrs. Lacroix wouldn't hear it. She made us the most wonderful Creole food I have ever had. Spicy, but good! Once we had finished eating I joined my brothers and sister in painting the house. It was going to be a glorious shade of red, to match the roses we had just finished planting. It was the most rewarding day I have ever spent.

It sparked something in PJ. All the way back to Deanna's all she could talk about was all the things she was going to do when she got home. She was going to donate all her old books that she doesn't read anymore to the shelter down the street from our house. She wanted to do more to help people. I think we're just created a community service giant.

Since Eric, Hunter and I had worked all day we were more than happy to join Vianne and her friends to a teen club in the French Quarter. Mom and Dad were weary of us going. I reminded them that it was no different than going to a club in the city. They didn't like it but agreed to let us go.

The club was in the heart of the Quarter. People were everywhere. I could easily see how so many unfortunate things could happen on the crowded streets. I held tight to Eric's hand. It was a strange thing for me to do seeing how we weren't exactly together anymore. But he was right in front of me and I didn't want to get lost in the crowd.

We met Vianne's friends in front of the club and were easily let in. The music inside was louder than I had ever had in my life. The floor literally shook with the bass. Looking around I caught sight of the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. They locked with mine and followed me as I walked down the stairs into the club. Vianne found us a table and we yelled over the music. The guy that I had spied as walked in came up to our table and offered me his hand.

He was dressed impeccably for a guy. He wore a deep red suit shirt and black pants. With what light I had, I could see that he wore a small silver cross on a leather cord around his neck. He had long black hair that he had pulled back in a low ponytail. He was pale, paler than most people. I figured that it had to be the lights and the smoke machines playing tricks on my mind. Vianne practically had to shove me out of the seat to get me to go dance with him.

Rhianna's _Don't Stop the Music_ was blasting. For some reason the song was really living up to it's lyrics. I was really digging this guy. The music quieted for a moment and I was finally able to introduce myself.

"I'm Taylor!" I said.

"Rawdon!" he replied. "You're not from N'Awlins are you cher?"

"New York," I replied, smiling.

We walked together over to the bar and each got a soda. Somehow I didn't feel so bad about ditching Vianne and the boys. Rawdon was seriously hot. We sat down in a corner booth and started talking.

"What is a beautiful girl from New York doing in a place like this?" he asked, taking my hand in his and placing a small kiss on the knuckles.

"An insane dual family road trip," I said, blushing.

"Of all the places in the US to go your family chose to come to here?"

I began to explain about the location lottery and the whole trip up until that moment. Rawdon was amazed at the sheer amount of people accompanying me.

"So it's your parents, their best friends, your five brothers and sisters, the Flack boys, a stowaway rat and your Yorkie Pig-Pen?" Rawdon questioned. "Well no wonder you came here."

I had to laugh at that. So far this had been the most fun she had while on this crazy vacation. If someone had told me at the beginning of this trip that I would be sitting in the loudest teen club in the French Quarter with an incredibly hot guy, I would not have believed it. But here I was and Rawdon kept looking into my eyes. At one point I had to look away to break myself from his intense gaze. Another song that I knew came on and Rawdon held his hand out for me. I could hardly refuse. It was then that Rawdon smiled. There was something about his smile that seemed to startle me. Rawdon two top incisors were longer and sharper than the rest of his teeth.

I shook my head, telling myself that it was all in my head and I was letting the lore and myths of New Orleans get to me. Rawdon was no more a vampire than anyone else. But there was still that thought in my head that couldn't help but wonder. Rawdon saw me looking at him strangly and he soon realized what it was that had me all confuddled. He paused in our dance for a moment and put his thumbs to his teeth. With a quick pop the two "fangs" popped off. I started laughing so hard that I had to sit down.

"What on earth is so funny?" Rawdon asked.

"For about fifteen seconds I could have sworn that the myths and legends about the underworld of New Orleans was true and that I was dancing with a hot vampire!" I explained between fits of laughter.

"What gave you the idea that I was a vampire?" Rawdon asked, failing to see the humor in all this.

"Well first you're really pale and your name is really old fashioned," I said, placing my hands on his cool face. "Next the red and black clothes, the long, dark hair and the silver cross around your neck. Then to top it all off, the fangs!"

With that I crumpled against the table in another fit of laughter. I couldn't help it. Now I wasn't laughing at Rawdon. I was laughing at myself for giving into all the horror books I had read for American Lit and for believing the myths about New Orleans.

"Taylor," Rawdon said in a low voice that I almost didn't hear over the music. "I _am _a vampire."

I stopped laughing. The look on his face was so serious that I could have sworn he was joking. But he wasn't. "You're screwing with me now."

"I was born in 1815 in France," Rawdon began to explain. "My parents were merchant sailors who came to the America's just after Napoleon was defeated at Waterloo. The bought land here in Delta. One night when I was 17, in 1832, a group of travelers came to our manor requesting a place to stay for the night. I'm not sure how or what really happened from there, all I know is that I heard a noise coming from my parent's bedroom. The eldest man who had been in the group had killed my father and was lapping up his blood like a horse at the water trough. My mother was also dead. The man I now call my father, Louis, offered me a choice: Die like my parents for learning the truth or drink from him and live forever, just as I was in 1832."

Me, with my cop mentality and scientific deduction was baffled at what I was hearing. "But you just took off your teeth. I don't get it."

"Oh my God!" Rawdon laughed. "I can't believe you honestly fell for that!" The young man howled in laughter. "Vianne wasn't sure if you would but you did!"

Over at the table where Vianne, Eric and Hunter sat they were cracking up. I have never been that humiliated in my entire life. Except for the time that I had to explain to the principal of DJ's school that it wasn't his fault that all the baseballs ended up on the roof. I glared at Eric and Hunter who, no doubt would tell our respective fathers about this event and then proceed to torture me with this event for the rest of the trip.

"The Flacks are dead," I muttered.

That night after getting mocked by both my father and Flack, I exacted my revenge on Eric and Hunter, who were sleeping in the basement of Deanna's home. They were creeped out enough staying in a creepo basement which was working just perfectly for me. With permission from Deanna I killed the power in the basement and blocked the basement door to keep them down there while I had my fun. I could hear them crashing around trying to find the switch to turn the lights back on. For a few minutes I stood by the cricut breaker flipping the switch back and forth. Vianne felt bad for duping me like that and agreed to help me get the boys back. She stood outside the only window to the basement and rattled it a few times. By now I figured that the boys were good and scared. I killed the lights and donned the black ski mask I pulled from one of Deanna's charity bins. I also found an old plastic axe and covered it in red food coloring. Vianne from outside shone a bright search flashlight into the small window, casting a ghostly white light in the pitch black basement. I threw the axe at the boys, who I can attest screamed like little girls when they realized what it was.

I hid in the corner as they blew up the stairs. I followed them out and saw them climbing into Uncle Don's SUV. Apparently they would rather stay in the car with Buster than in the haunted house. Jus to be a bitch, I came out there in the morning with the axe and knocked on the window. Eric was the first to scream. I held up a paper sign in the window that read, "You Don't Mess with The Taylor!"

_Dad was most impressed with my revenge tactics. As was Uncle Don. I almost swapped cars with Evan just so I could torture them about their axe weilding ghost. Needless to say, neither of them were talking to me. Which is a shame beacuse it's a long drive from New Orleans to San Deigo. By the time we got across Texas Mom had enough of our feud and made us make up. It's only taken three days to get from New Orleans to the other side of Texas. As much as Dad wants to go to Vegas he knows better. Mom would kill him. _

_Anyway, despite being set up with a fake vampire, Rawdon and I spent the rest of the night together. We exchanged phone numbers and he has already called me twice. Now I have more of a reason to choose Tulane. _

_Watching my back, Taylor Lindsay Messer_


	5. And to Think It Happened at Petco Park

**A/N: Next stop, San Deigo. Padres for the boys, San Diego Zoo for the girls (minus PJ of course.) It sould be a day of zany, crazy, mixed-up, lost brothers, normal day in the vacation lives of the Messer and Flack clan. Watch for a Veronica Mars reference!**

Road Trip or How Taylor Lindsay Messer Survived 27 Days in an SUV with Her Five Brothers and Sisters or Why Danny and Lindsay are Never Taking a Road Trip with Six Kids, Two Stowaway Pets and Their Best Friends' Stella and Don Flack and Family Ever, Ever Again (Part Five)

From sea to shining sea. That's how Dad first described our family vacation. And now we have. Gone from sea to shining sea that is. We have arrived in San Diego a day early. I'm not sure how we managed that one, but we did. Eric and Hunter still aren't talking to me since the ghost incident in New Orleans. Rawdon, on the other side, has called me almost everyday, sometimes twice a day since we parted. I know all the arguments about long distance relationships and all that but I'm willing to take my chances. If anything, I think he just wants to find out how the rest of this trip goes.

We arrived in San Deigo with pleantly of time to really hash out what Mom, Aunt Stella, Miracle, Bella and I would be doing while the boys and PJ were at the Padres game. We decided on touring Balboa Park. I started thinking that I would have more fun with the boys and PJ than I would going to another zoo.

Bella was unhappy that I was going to the game instead of Balboa Park. I just had that gut feeling that I was going to be needed at the Padres game. I wasn't going to say anything, but that gut feeling I have always circles one child; accident prone Daniel Jay Messer. I figured that if he was joined at the hip with me, there's no way he could get lost.

Again, I was wrong. Anyway here's what happened.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky. An absolutely perfect day to be a baseball game. We got to the box office early so Dad and Uncle Don could purchase a row of eight seats. They weren't perfect seats but they would do for now. The Padres game wasn't exactly planned. The Cubs game however, was.

Once we found our seats, Dad seated us in an order that would best solve any unintended bickering matches. Dad and Uncle Don postioned themselves at each end with Eric and Hunter next to them. Then closest to Dad was DJ, then me, PJ and Evan. No more than fifteen seconds after we sat down, requests started popping up. All at once it was "Daddy, can we get hotdogs?" or "Daddy, can I have a pretzel?" and "Daddy, I need to go potty."

To solve the hunger issue Uncle Don used his memo book to take orders. Then he and Hunter went up to the food court to fill the orders. As for the potty request, I took care of it as it was sweet PJ who needed to go. We left at the same time but somehow PJ and I were back first.

Uncle Don and Hunter returned to the seats just after the first pitch with the following food items: Eight hotdogs, four hot, salted pretzels, two nachoes with mild cheese, two twenty peice magma hot wings, three Sprites, two regular Cokes, one Diet Coke, and two very large refillable beer cups. Once the food was was divied out everyone was content and happy, at least for three innings.

At the top of the fourth inning, DJ and Evan needed to use the restroom. Eric offered to take them. I got so involved with the game that I didn't realize that the boys hadn't come back yet. It was the top of the fifth inning when my "DJ's Done Something" sense kicked into high gear. The three of them had been gone entirely way too long. Not to alarm Dad, I pulled out my phone, ignoring the messages from Rawdon, I texted a quick message to Eric. Two letters came back. "Um..."

I had a feeling that it was going to be bad or worse than bad when all I got in response was an "Um..." I relented and tapped Dad on the shoulder.

"Hey, uh, Dad? Eric and the boys have been gone quite awhile now and, uh, I just got a kind of cryptic message from Eric. I think he lost DJ."

A few not so very nice words escaped from my father's mouth. He ordered that PJ, Hunter and I were to stay in our seats if they came back. He and Uncle Don flagged down a security gaurd. They flashed their badges. I swear, even on a cross-country road trip my loony toons family never leave home without their NYPD badges.

In a manner of minutes Petco Park was on lockdown. An Amber Alert was broadcasted over the PA system. The game annoucers mentioned DJ's name and even flashed his picture on the Jumbotron. Only my little brother can get left behind on an aircraft carrier and lost at a Major Leauge Baseball park.

The crowd cameras started scanning everyone and stopped on the dugout of the Padres. And low and behold guess who is sitting next to Chase Hadley of the Padres, getting autographs, free hats, baseballs and a bat? If you were to say Daniel Jay Messer, you've just won yourself the ultimate prize. How the hell did his nabby little ass get to the dugout of the Padres? Well, if anyone could do it, DJ Messer could.

"I swear to God, when we go to the Cubbies game, I am handcuffing that boy to his seat!" Dad muttered.

"How is it that DJ can get into trouble no matter where we are?" I mused. "Hell, _he_ started the paint fight in New Orleans, dumped his chili dog on Bella at Disney World, tried to ride the T-Rex in DC, and for the cherry on top he ends up in the dugout of the San Deigo Padres. What's next? Pretending he's King Kong on the top of the Space Needle? Could he also be slightly-"

"You say one more word, Taylor Lindsay Messer," Dad said through gritted teeth. "Both you and Pig-Pen will be on the first flight back to New York and you'll be grounded until SEPTEMBER!"

"Yes sir," I said quietly.

Oh shit. I should have stopped at the rhetorical question. I decided to let Dad cool off a bit, so I decided to take a walk around the park. And just when I thought this bizzaro trip could not get any weirder, I have to walk right into megamillionarie Logan Echolls. Not only Logan Echolls but his tiny, yet very pregnant, wife, FBI special agent Veronica Mars-Echolls. Holy Mary, Mother of God, kill me now.

The Echolls were so cool about it. They just smiled and kept walking. They looked so happy. I walked back to our seats, just as security was bringing DJ back. It was the happiest and most afraid I had ever seen my little brother. I was sure that Dad was going to kill him, but not before he got me for being a smartass.

Not another word was spoken in the truck on our way back to the hotel. I sat in the very back seat, in the corner trying to get the burning look of my father off of me. Because I was all the way in the back, I was the last one to get out and wasn't able to side step Dad like I had hoped. He cornered me.

"I'm sorry Dad," I said. "I was just trying to make light of a situation. It will never happen again."

"Damn right it won't Taylor," Dad snapped. "You're lucky your grandmother wasn't there to hear you talk like that. She would have kicked your ass all the way to the car and would have made you walk home."

"Yes sir," I said quietly. This was the second time on this trip that I managed to get on Dad's shit list.

"Go to your room and stay there. Lindsay made some sandwiches for the road tomorrow. That is your dinner. The rest of us are going to out. Sass me in public like that again and I don't care if you are eighteen Taylor, I will rip you a new one right there."

Wow. This disappearance act with DJ really messed Dad up. He's usually the calm parent. Mom's usually the one to fly off the handle. I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this one. On the bright side, I get some peace and quiet for a couple of hours. I walked up to my hotel room that I share with my sisters and lying on the table I found some post cards from Balboa Park. I picked on up and turned it over. In Bella's blocky handwriting it read, "I love you Taya. Your my bestest big sister in the world! Love Bella."

Next to the post card was a baseball that DJ had signed when he ended up in the dugout. "To Taylor: Keep being the light in this little boy's life. The San Deigo Padres."

I couldn't help but start crying.

_You know, for all their faults and zany behavior I wouldn't trade my family for anything else in the entire world. _

_Taylor Lindsay Messer AKA: The Bestest Big Sister in the World and #1 dead child in the Messer clan. _


	6. Resentful but Loved

**A/N: Next stop, Seattle folks. Previously I had mentioned that Taylor still hasn't selected a college to attend in September. In this chapter we get to witness Taylor and Lindsay having the college talk. With a little of the Pike Place Market thrown in for good measure. Enjoy!**

Road Trip or How Taylor Lindsay Messer Survived 27 Days in an SUV with Her Five Brothers and Sisters or Why Danny and Lindsay are Never Taking a Road Trip with Six Kids, Two Stowaway Pets and Their Best Friends' Stella and Don Flack and Family Ever, Ever Again (Part Six)

Ah Seattle. Mircosoft, Nintendo, the Space Needle, Safeco Field, and of course Pike Place Market. Stop six on our crazy, zany, bizzaro road trip. To sum up what has happened so far: DC was great, no one got lost. Charleston was beautiful, DJ got left behind on the flight deck of the USS Yorktown and met an old fighter pilot. It rained in Daytona. I am never in my life going back to Disney World in the summer. I was set up with a fake vampire and got in a paint fight with my brothers and sisters in New Orleans. And in San Deigo, we still have no idea how he did it, but DJ ended up in the dugout of the San Degio Padres. Oh and I met Veronica Mars! Can I go home now? Can't. Still have Yellowstone, Nanna Monroe's, Chicago, Niagra Falls and Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island.

It was an icy drive to Seattle. Dad still wasn't speaking to me since the incident in San Deigo. Not that I mind. Dad's just pissed because he finally realizes that I am exactly like him and he's trying to figure out where he went wrong. It took us three days to get out of California and Oregon. Mom and Aunt Stella let Dad and Uncle Don get us out of the traffic of San Deigo and LA. Bella of course saw the one and only billboard for Disneyland and begged to go. She got the steely eyed glare that Dad had only resevered for me these past few days. She melted and soon went back to her book.

Talking with Rawdon last night after the girls were asleep, he said something that is making me look at my father in a different light. He said that maybe the reason he is so mad at me is beacuse he knows this is the last family vacation I am going to attend with them. As of September I'll be away in school and won't have the time to take off with them. Rawdon also mentioned that because of that fact, he's trying harder to keep me around.

For a guy I only met a three weeks ago on a set up, I am really starting to fall for him. Eric and Hunter have had more fun teasing me about him than anything else. But since I am already deep on Dad's shit list, I keep my remarks to myself. I don't need to get in deeper. So needless to say I have been extra quiet the last few days.

Seattle was easy. We were going to wander around downtown. See the Pike Place Market. Take Miracle to the aquarium. Dinner in the Space Needle. Nothing major. Somewhere in the midst of all the sightseeing, Mom pulled me aside to talk about the five acceptance letters I have sitting on my desk at home.

Sitting at home are my five acceptance letters from Columbia, NYU, Chelsea, Tulane and Brown. Three schools in the city, one in New Orleans and Rhode Island. As much as I would love to stay in the city I can't seem to get it out of my head to go far away. Of course I was wanting Tulane more and more only because of a certain un-vampire. Which is insane. You don't pick a school because of a boy.

"Taye, you know your father and I don't care where you go to school. But you did get into three schools right here in the city. You could stay home and save some money," Mom said.

"Mom, I don't want to live at home," I said flatly. "I want a chance to reinvent myself. I don't want to be Danny and Lindsay Messer's oldest kid anymore. I want some meaning."

"You know you are more than that," Mom argued.

"Mom, the past two years I have felt more like the nanny than I have the daughter."

"I know you feel like you got the short end of the stick lately. Your father and I apologize for that. We never meant to make you feel like hired help. But on the other hand you've never said no to anything we have ever asked you to do."

"That's because I didn't feel like I could. Or that I was being selfish. But Mom, I almost had to take Yahtzee with me to prom."

"No you didn't," Mom argued.

"Let me refresh your memory Mom," I said, getting snippy. "I had just started my facial when Bella came in and told me that both you and Dad had to leave. I was then in a panic trying to figure out how I was going to get everything I needed done and make sure they didn't kill themselves or each other."

"Mrs. Hammerback was able to come watch them so you could go to the dance."

"That's not the point Mom!"

"Then what is the point Taylor?!"

"I'm tired! I'm tired of having to put my plans on hold because DJ has a baseball game or Evan has a science fair. I'm tired of getting the phone calls while I'm out with my friends that I need to come home because you and Dad are getting called out! I want my OWN life!"

Mom found a bench and sat down. I sat down next to her.

"I had no idea you felt like this Taylor. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't want to sound selfish. I was trying to be helpful."

"Helpful you have been. And maybe Dad and I have been taking you for granted a little."

"A little?"

"Okay, maybe a lot. But that doesn't mean we don't care about you as much as we do Yahtzee. You can take care of yourself. They're not quite there yet. I can see the jealous side of you coming out. For nine years it was just you and us. You were the apple of everyone's eye. Then these five little monsters show up and steal your attention from everyone. I can see the resentfulness. But on the other side of the coin, there's nothing you wouldn't do for those five little monsters. Bella wants to be just like you. Slightly more made-up and Barbieish but still just like you. PJ loves that you listen to her about her concerns about the environment and the poor. The boys love that you get in the dirt and play with them. Even though Mira doesn't show it very often she loves that you sit with her at the piano. You're the heartbeat of our family."

Crap. She had to pull that line. Just when I think I've found my exit she pulls me right back in. I sighed and admitted defeat. Mom had made a very good point.

"You win Mom. I think I'm going to take the Chelsea scholarship. As much as I would love to go to New Orleans, it would be for all the wrong reasons."

"Running away never solves problems. Only causes more."

After Mom and mines talk I went on the hunt for Dad. I had some major grovling to do. I found Dad and the boys standing in front of the fish market. DJ was having a kick out of watching the guys throw the fish back and forth. I had just got there when DJ was selected to try to catch a flying fish. I cringed but swallowed the remark that was building. To my suprise he actually caught the little fish that was tossed at him. I stood next to Dad for a few minutes before I said anything.

"I'm sorry Dad," I said finally.

"What act are we apolgizing for this time?" Dad said, not looking over at me.

"You know what for. I'm sorry for what I said in San Deigo. I was frustrated and annoyed. But it was no excuse for going to far."

Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulders and together we laughed when the fish guys chased Bella with a crab. Things between my dad and I would never be the same but at least now we are speaking and laughing.

_Now that I have made my college decsion I can look forward to the 800 mile trip to Mom's parent's place in Montana. DJ is looking forward to getting to learn how to ride a horse. That and he wants to ride four wheels with our real uncle Richie. This is going to be the first time that our entire family has made the trek to Montana. Nanna Becky and Papa Jerry had always come to the city. This is going to a very interesting few days. _

_Trying to get the fish smell out of my hair,_

_Taylor Lindsay Messer_


	7. Like Mother, Like Daughter

**A/N: Next stop, Montana! A Messer kid (not the one you're thinking) is going to spend the rest of the trip on crutches. What can I say, we have an accident prone family. Enjoy!**

Road Trip or How Taylor Lindsay Messer Survived 27 Days in an SUV with Her Five Brothers and Sisters or Why Danny and Lindsay are Never Taking a Road Trip with Six Kids, Two Stowaway Pets and Their Best Friends' Stella and Don Flack and Family Ever, Ever Again (Part Seven)

We drove through Yellowstone. The whole way I could tell that Mom was getting antsy. I swear the closer we go to Bozeman the happier my mother was getting. She kept urging Dad to drive faster. I could tell she really wanted to see her mom and dad. Well stepmom. The closer we got the more excited I got as well. The last time any of us saw Nanna Becky and Poppa Jerry was for the quints' fifth birthday. Nanna Becky had come up for a week to help me with my prom gown. I was making a Marie Antoinette style gown and needed Nanna Becky's help with the side hoops and some of the trim. It was a beautiful dress by the time I got it finished and it was the most unique dress at prom.

Dad turned down the long dirt road to the ranch. I could see someone on the porch of the house. Both Mom and I broke into a huge grin and could barely wait to get out of the car. Dad had barely put the car in park, before Mom was out of the car and running to Poppa Jerry. I had never seen Mom that happy in a long time. I stayed back to help Dad get Yahtzee out of the car. Then all six of us ran for our grandparents. Five ran, Miracle caught a ride on my back as she was still somewhat asleep. The other four started talking over each other about everything they wanted to do while we spent our week in Montana.

Dad pulled out his whistle and blew it hard to quiet everyone down. "Before everyone goes running off in a hundred different directions the cars need unloaded and you need to seperate out your laundry. After that you are free to roam about the countryside."

Grumbles not just from the kids but from the Flack boys, Uncle Don included. He just wanted to sleep. The girls and I didn't have as much work to do because I had sorted out the clothes that needed to be washed last night when we stopped in Cody for the night. I brought down our things to the laundry room and started a load before anyone else. Bella and PJ snuck out and wandered to the barn where Nanna and Poppa kept the three goats, 12 cows and the couple dozen chickens. I was shocked that Bella even went anywhere near the barn.

While I was doing mine and my sisters laundry, Aunt Stella, Mom, Aunt Susan and Nanna Becky were all in the kitchen making dinner. Uncle Richie and his wife Susan were my mom's brother and sister-in-law. They have two boys, who from the sound of running feet and the poor sqawking of the poor chickens, had met DJ and Evan. Eric and Hunter seemed to have disappeared. I have no idea where Poppa is going to pust us all. They don't exactly have a big house.

"Taylor?" Mom called. "Can you go round up your brothers and cousins? Mom wants them to stop harassing the chickens."

"Sure Mom!" I called back. Chasing chickens. Someone let DJ and Evan watch Rocky II with them. Someone being Eric and Hunter. I wandered out of the laundry room and out into the yard between the house and the barn.

"DJ! Evan! Quit chasing those poor chickens!" I yelled to them. "Why don't you get your bat and ball Dad bought you in San Deigo and play some baseball before dinner?"

I always try to discourage bad behavior in my siblings by giving them a better activity to do. Linus and Mark, Uncle Richie's boys were happy to play ball with them. I, of course, got roped into pitching so everyone would have a fair shot at hitting. Everytime DJ stepped up to hit I prayed that he wouldn't hit it towards the house and bust out a window. We got lucky, for once.

Dinner that night was a chaotic mess. The 12 New Yorkers, plus the 6 Montana-ites in a little house was not the best idea I think we've ever had. The ten kids were banished to the drop-clothed living room with our paper plates and plastic utensils. From the kitchen to the living room DJ dropped his plate, Bella spilt her juice, Evan bumped into Linus, who knocked into his brother Mark who also dropped his plate. Eric, Hunter and I just watched as it all happened. The only one of the younger kids not to drop, spill or anything else was Miracle. That's because I had her plate in my hand. She had found Nanna's piano and was already playing. It could be hours before we could pull her off.

The adults were laughing and talking in the kitchen. For the first time since we left New York everything on this trip was finally having some normalcy to it. I could hear Mom telling Nanna Becky that I had chosen Chlesea for my college. I decided that I would show Nanna my photos from prom after dinner. I know she would love to see how the dress turned out.

The next day Uncle Richie brought Linus and Mark out to hang with DJ and Evan. Bella and PJ were hanging out in the house with Nanna Becky, Mom and Aunt Stella. Miracle had finally gotten away from the piano but was back at it by the time I got up. Dad, Poppa Jerry, Uncle Don and Uncle Richie were going fishing by themselves and tomorrow they were going to take the boys. Eric, Hunter and I hopped on the 4-Wheelers and took off for the day. It was nice for the three of us to hang out again. They had finally gotten me back for the "haunting" in New Orleans and we were now even.

We had gone up into the mountains and had found several old mining sites. We found some old rail tracks that led into a tunnel in the side of the mountain. From the looks of things, no one had been here in years. Being the no fear New Yorkers that Eric, Hunter and I were, we grabbed the flashlights from our backpacks and started to walk into the tunnel. We stepped carefully as not to find a loose board or anything we might fall through. Inside the tunnel we found old pick axes, shovels and even a hat that looked older than my dad.

I wandered a bit farther up into the tunnel. Before I knew it I heard a cracking sound and then I was gone. I landed in a heap on the ground about fifty feet or so below where Eric and Hunter were. I tried to stand up but a sharp pain went all through my left leg. Crap.

"Eric! Hunter!" I yelled. "I think I broke my leg!"

"Taye! We're going to head back to the house to get Pops. We'll be back soon!" Eric yelled down to me.

"While you're there could you bring me back a slice of Ray's?" I teased.

"Only Taylor Messer can think of pizza when she's fifty feet underground," I heard Hunter say.

"At least drop my bag down here. Maybe I can get a cell signal."

"Yeah right Taye! We haven't had a signal since we got out of Idaho. Sit tight. We'll be back soon."

By the time the boys got back to the house, Dad, Uncle Don and Richie and Poppa were back from fishing. When Poppa heard that I had fallen down a shaft in an old abandoned mine he started laughing so hard, Dad said he was crying.

"Mother like daughter," was all that he said. They took the truck and came back to get me. I was quite cranky and didn't feel like being teased for doing the exact same thing my mother had done many moons ago. Poppa and Dad took me to the closest ER and had my leg X-Rayed. I had broken my leg in two places and my ankle. I was going to spend the rest of my summer vacation in a cast. If you thought I was cranky before, multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about.

Bella and PJ were delighted to have a new coloring surface. The cast went from my mid-thigh all the way down to my foot. I was moved from the upstairs room down to the living room couch as to be more comfortable. Didn't help any at all.

After I was relocated to the couch, Mom came in. She had a smile on her face and a photo album in her hand. She sat down next to me on the couch. She flipped open the book and showed me an old picture of her. Dad has always said that Miracle and I are spitting images of Mom and I was finally able to see what he meant.

"This was taken the summer I was 13 or 14. I fell through a weak board in exact same mine. In that sense, you truly are my kid."

I hugged Mom and sighed. "You know Taye, it wouldn't take much to stick you on a plane. You can stay with Nonna until we get back."

"Mom even on crutches and in a full leg cast, I can still be of some help to you guys. Besides we're almost done with this loony trip anyway. I can still do almost everything we planned."

"You win. Don't expect us to baby you."

"Oh I am going to milk this as long as I can."

_Yippe! I get to spend the rest of my summer vacation in a cast. Well at least it wasn't DJ this time. Next stop, Chicago! This is going to be interesting. _

_Miserable and broken,_

_Taylor Lindsay Messer_


	8. Famous People and Old Friends

**A/N: Next stop, The Windy City! Oprah, baseball and a rather cranky, miserable Taylor. **

Road Trip or How Taylor Lindsay Messer Survived 27 Days in an SUV with Her Five Brothers and Sisters or Why Danny and Lindsay are Never Taking a Road Trip with Six Kids, Two Stowaway Pets and Their Best Friends' Stella and Don Flack and Family Ever, Ever Again (Part Eight)

I can't believe I broke my leg in Montana. And in the same exact way that my mother did! I really think there is some gene missing that helps keep us Messer kids out of trouble. It has to be in our genetic makeup. We were lucky to have no disasters from Montana to Chicago. Hit a couple of hard bumps that hurt me, but I was the dummy to go into a mine. Rawdon, who has been following this wonderful trip called me after I posted what had happened and proceeded to make fun of me for ten minutes. I wanted to reach through the phone and throttle him.

Before we left Montana, Mom bought me a set of Sharpies to color my cast. Bella and PJ already covered the bottom with stickers and pink glitter glue. I can only imagine what the detailers at the lab are going to say when they vacumn out ten pounds of glitter. I like the ER doc though. He gave me a good amount of meds to help me sleep while in the car. I didn't see much of Wyoming or the next state. Mom took a picture of me sleeping in the back of the SUV. I had Pig-Pen on my chest, where she usually sleeps and I actually looked half-way decent for once.

I actually like what I've seen of Chicago so far. Not somewhere I'd actually want to live but it's nice. The streets aren't as busy as New York, but there is still a good deal of foot traffic. Dad and Uncle Don drove us into the city and got us to the hotel. From there we were going to use the El to get around to our various locations. Namely Wrigley Field and Harpo Studios. Yes I, Taylor Lindsay Messer has got tickets to see a taping of Oprah. Be jealous, it's ok. Only Mom, Aunt Stella and I are going to the taping. Dad and Uncle Don get to deal with the rest of the clan. I think Dad said something about a zoo but I was sort of out of it.

Oprah is just as awesome in person as she is on TV. We didn't know what to expect when we arrived at the studio. As it turns out, it was Fashion Day on her show. She had invited past designers from Project Runway to show off their new stuff. There was even a drawing for wardrobe consultation by my favorite non-winning designer Rami Kashou. Years of karma and prayers were being cashed in as Rami reached into the box of names of the men and women in the audience.

_"Taylor Messer_," I used my Jedi Mind powers to will Rami to draw my name_. "Taylor Messer."_

"And the winner of the consultation with Rami Kashou is..." Oprah said, opening the card with the winner's information on it. "From Midtown, New York City, Taylor Messer!"

_Holy crap, it worked!_

I grasped my crutches and hobbled my way up to the creamy carpet of the stage to shake hands with Oprah Winfrey and Rami Kashou. It was the most surreal moment of my entire life. Oprah invited me to sit on-stage with her and Rami while they talked. She of course wanted to know how I broke my leg.

"Well, ma'am," I began. "To tell that sotry I have to tell about seven others."

With that I began to tell the most influential woman in the world about my cross country road trip. I made her laugh. I made Oprah Winfrey laugh. She asked if my brothers and sisters were in the audience. I told her that they were on an adventure with my Dad. She said that she would very much liked to have met Yahtzee.

After the taping, I was escorted back to the green rooms where Rami and I discussed my clothes and what kind of things I liked to wear. He took my measurements and said that by the time I returned home that there would be a new wardrobe waiting for me. You have no idea how happy that made me. I would be going to college in clothes designed just for me by Rami Kashou. Holy crap!

The next day all 12 of us were going to the Cubbies game. And true to his word Dad handcuffed DJ to his seat. I felt for the kid I really did. I will say that baseball and a cast that goes from the bottom of your foot all the way up to past your knee is not a good combonation. I could barely move around not in a crowded baseball park, let alone inside one. I almost optioned out of my ticket to stay at the hotel. A quick run to County General and a brush with Drs. Gates, Morris and Rasgotra, Mom got me a refill on my meds and I was happy again. Eric got a crutch to the gut when he asked if I could remain on these meds so I would always be a happy and pleasent person.

We were quite a sight as we entered the ballpark. Dad and DJ got a few strange looks as they walked past people. They were handcuffed together. Dad was set that he wasn't going to lose DJ at one more event. Most of the clan rushed past me, hobbling along with my broken in two places leg and broken ankle. Aunt Stella took pity on me and walked with me. She didn't care that much for baseball so it was nice to have someone to talk to. Dad, Uncle Don, my brothers, PJ, Eric and Hunter ate, drank and slept baseball. A part of me wondered if this wasn't some ruse to only see baseball games.

Mom pulled a genius move and snuck food in with her large purse and in my backpack. With the sandwiches and juice boxes there was no need for any trips to the food court. Eric and Hunter decided that they were going to spring for hot dogs. Dumb move in this clan. Never, ever offer to buy food for my father. His requests get so outrageous that the person offering to buy him luch gets so frustrated that they end up throwing the money at him and telling him to get it himself. Eric and Hunter didn't know that. I watched amused as Dad gave his hot dog order.

"I would like a sausage with kraut, mustard, relish and three, remember that, three drops of mayo," Dad began. "Make sure the bun is slightly toasted and made with whole wheat flour not white. IF they don't have wheat buns I want a normal hotdog with kraut, relish mustard, ketchup and three tomatoe slices. Do you got all that?

Eric and Hunter looked at my father as if he had three heads.

"He's not kidding," I said. "If it's not right he'll make you take it back."

Silly boys. Three tries it took to get this right. At one point I got mad enough to do it for them. After they came back with the right combo the wave was staring. I think I was the only person, besides the chained to his seat DJ, that wasn't able to partake in the epitome of ballpark fun. Not only was it hot, but my leg was starting to sweat inside the cast causing it to itch something awful. It took a little to get up and out of the seats to the covered area so I could cool off. I needed to stretch anyway so I started hobbling around the ballpark. I wasn't hoping to run into any more famous people. Getting to meet Oprah, Rami, running into Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls has been enough for me. The very last person I ever thought I would run into in Chicago of all places was my very best friend, Kellie. She was supposed to be touring Europe as her senior gift.

"Kellie-Bellie what the hell are you doing here?" I exclaimed as we made eye contact with each other.

"Taya-Raya what the hell happened to you?" she replied.

We sheriked and hugged each other. It was nice to see a sane person for once. We found the closest bench and sat down.

"You're supposed to be in Germany right now," I said. "What are you doing here in Chicago of all places?"

"Change of plans. Mom got called to do a show here in Chicago. I had been reading your blog and knew that you guys would be here. Tell me everything!"

I told her about all the crazy things that had been happening since my family left for this trip. She loved what I had done to the boys in New Orleans and gushed over the picture of Rawdon that I kept on my phone. She called me a loony for not going to Tulane to be with this guy. We decided to go back to our seats to freak out Eric and Hunter.

"Hey Flacks!" I yelled when I came back. Hunter and Eric looked over. "Look who I found."

Kellie appeared behind me and waved at the boys.

"Kellie!" they exclaimed. They jumped over the back of the seats to greet her. The four of us were the best of friends in school. Where one was the other three were sure to be right behind. "What the hell are you doing in Chicago? You're supposed to be in Germany or France by now."

"Mom had a show that she couldn't miss in Chicago," Kellie said. "So I came with her, figuring I could meet up with you guys for a few hours. Hi Yahtzee!"

Bella was the only one to greet Kellie. Miracle was asleep on Mom's lap and the terrible trio were focused on the game. I asked my friend where her seats were and she told me in one of the boxes. With my best puppy-dog eyes ever I glanced over to my daddy and pouted and pointed to my leg.

"Get out of here!" he teased. "We'll call you at the start of the bottom of the ninth."

"Thank you Daddy!" I exclaimed, kissing him on the cheek.

Kellie's mom is an artist. A scupltor to be exact. She had peices shown all over the world. They had been planning this show in Chicago for sometime now nad it had been bumped. I had never been so excited to see my friend. I think some time away from my family would do me some good.

"So tell me more about Rawdon," Kellie said. "I mean I've read your blogs and such but I want you to really tell me about him."

"He was Vianne's friend, the daughter of Stella's foster sister. She had talked Flacks and I into going into New Orleans with her to the French Quarter. You know my and my urban legends. I see this guy across the club and he looks just creepy enough to be something other than human. He instantly comes over to me. We get to dancing than talking. He tells me this horrible story that I start to really believe and then I look over at where Vianne and the boys are and they're laughing up a storm. Then the dead serious look on his face vanished and he started laughing too."

"He sounds great, Taya. So what are you guys? What's going to happen now that you've chosen to stay in the city?" Kellie asked.

"It's been so crazy with being in a different location every night, breaking my leg and having to keep quiet at night so the girls can sleep. There's barely been time for me to really digest the Rawdon thing. I mean Eric and I just called it quits. I'm getting ready to go to college, live away from my zany family. I don't have time to deal with a long distance relationship with a fake vampire!"

"Ok, no more meds for you!" Kellie teased.

"No Kellie, I'm serious. We'll just be email buddies. That's all I can do at the moment. Maybe with time, I may want more from him."

"Now you're starting to sound like my best friend."

Kellie and I watched the rest of the game from the luxuary box. It was nice and cool and no one bumped into my leg. It was heaven. I didn't want to go back down to where the rest of my family was sitting. But soon the game ended and I had to rejoin them. Kellie promised to stop by our hotel before going back with her mom. I was sad to see her go but it was nice to get to spend that short amount of time with her.

_Upon returning to our hotel there was a message for me from Oprah. She apparently was serious about meeting the rest of my family. We were taken by limo to the studio where a huge meal was waiting for us. My mother and Aunt Stella were over the moon to really hang out with Oprah. But like all events with Yahtzee this wasn't going to turn out well. DJ plus a plate of food minus the abilty to walk and carry something at the same time plus the direct order from Dad to be on his best behavior equals one nervous little boy. It wasn't his fault really. _

_But she laughed, heartily when DJ's dinner landed in her hair. Oprah laughed. Now I am really sure I was switched at birth!_

_Taylor Lindsay Messer _

**A/N 2: I am so so sorry for the wait on this one. My plot bunnies have been working triple overtime trying to get this out, a Christy fic, my own book, a Power Rangers story and a retelling of Anne of Green Gables. But now with the DL baby on the way I should have more ideas on where to go with this story or even start a new one!**


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